No New Year's Resolution

Dear Blog Diary,

I don’t do new year’s resolutions, but if I was, I will state that mine is: Spend less time with people who continually complain.

Found myself all in my feels over this picture of my brother, father, and I from Christmas 2019. I love both of them dearly. They are quite similar. I often feel like the odd one out.

One thing holds true: They are both tougher than me.

My father especially. He can 100% be an asshole but I will forever admire/respect that the myth of him, it’s all true. That's a longer story worth books to tell.

One thing is that my father never complains. Imagine being an immigrant during the Vietnam War coming to a super racist USA. Funny thing is, he has faced flat out dangerous racism and yet he doesn’t view it as racism. Insane to me, but he doesn't.

My father and that generation in general can push some macho shit. “Whatever happens, I will move forward. I may be bleeding, but I will continue to move forward.” My father would say this, and it is some macho, probably ignoring oodles of past trauma, shit…but it’s also that mentality that made this man. Respect that.

He refuses to be a victim.

Possibly he should in ways, because victims obviously exist. My heart goes out to them. There are also those that simply complain on and on. A gentle breeze could upset their entire vision of the world..but it feels good.

Victimhood feels good in ways, doesn’t it? “I have/am XYZ, and therefore I need special treatment.” Narcissists do that. I’m the shit, I need special treatment…or…I’m a loser and life was mean to me, I need special treatment. That’s why I don’t like going to dinner with vegans. (JOKE)

Victimhood is a way of saying “I need special treatment.”

Sidebar: People who make boundaries all the time and preach how healthy that is…true. Sometimes it’s a matter of respect and health. Other times, it’s just a manipulative narcissistic way to force behavior onto other people because of your self-proclaimed condition.

Thus, leads me to the kicker:

When you identify as a victim, you are forced to rely on the kindness of others to accommodate your identity as a victim.

I should also add...the other part of my resolution: I want to complain less.

Best,

E

#ARTiculate