No straight lines in nature
Dear Blog Diary,
Live and let live.
Don’t judge and let judge.
Know and let go.
I find myself in a back and forth about a code I’ve lived with, “I’m all talked out.”
The intuition: I love the planning, I love the strategizing, but I have no interest in talking about wanting to do a thing. Take your time, be intentional even in your setbacks, but you must act.
Thing is, no straight lines in nature.
We tend to move on from things quickly, good or bad. I admit I’m one to hold onto hurt. Sticks with me and I should let go.
But we do move on pretty quickly from our emotional highs, the joy of the new toy we bought, the thrills of new chapters.
We tend to get back to our relative baseline of happiness and I wonder why we don’t hold onto the wins more.
I have been holding on to my Ironman joy. I sit on my stoop and smoke weed watching the video of me at the finish line. I listen to Frank Sinatra “My Way” and a song entitled “Slept on Tony” by Ghostface.
Thing is, I first said I wanted to do an IM 11 years ago. I’ve only been doing triathlons for four.
In retrospect I had zero idea back then what the feat entailed. I wanted my first 70.3 to be in Santa Cruz, California with a bike that didn’t fit.
Only a handful of people know how much growth it took from me as a person to be in a place to begin with triathlon, let alone the four years of doing it.
By my own intuition, I’d have to call bullshit on myself 11 years ago, and I’d be wrong about that. Just didn’t have the maturity of a wider perspective.
Although I do believe in acting and marginal progress, some people will flat out discourage you and it will come from a good place. “Tough love.” It will look and sound like judgement. And it is.
Remember that they can only see from their eyes, what they would do, what makes sense to them with their priorities.
Take what is useful and disregard the rest but don’t resent them. Don’t turn “I did it!!!” into “hey asshole, I did it.”
Victories are better celebrated together. Know that you’ve got this. No time limit, no progress report. Be generous in your celebrating but onto the next.
And don’t bullshit yourself. Talk is cheap.
Best,
E
#ARTiculate