Like a rolling stone, part 2
Dear Blog Diary,
“It’s alright now. I learned my lesson well. You see you can’t please everyone so you got to please yourself.” - Rick Nelson, Garden Party
Life is made up of our choices and the consequences of them. Add some chaos and sprinkle in a bit of luck, and Bob’s your uncle. To quote Frankie Blue Eyes, “That’s life.”
2019
I was just trying to break into copywriting.
People don’t tell you how hard it is to pivot professionally, especially later in life and especially to a career that doesn’t have a clear clean-cut path.
For men especially/specifically, it’s hard to pivot. Be successful, be capable, be tough, endure suffer and whatever you do, don’t be a pussy. What value do you bring? No one gives a fuck about you unless you have something to provide. I don’t love this dynamic but I’m ok with it.
I don’t care if you’re a doctor trying to be a mechanic, pivoting takes time.
In 2019 I was a barback at a brewery. I had very little money. It was my birthday and I didn’t care — I was going to enjoy something special. I walked down the street to the local Vietnamese joint to get a bowl of pho.
I was cleaning and moving kegs that day. Back tired and covered in muck. I remember so clearly that as I walked down the street listening to “Like a Rolling Stone” by Bob Dylan.
“How does it feel? To be on your own, with no direction home, a complete unknown — like a rolling stone.”
It felt like that. Heavy. Just scraping by. The beauty of that song is that its beauty can only be shown by time.
2026
I’m just trying to build my career.
(Potential future employers, this part is for you.)
I’ve not been employed as a copywriter for almost a year. It’s so fucking heavy.
Economy is not at all in a good place, world continues to be insane, companies are conservative in rough times, and opportunity is scarce. Even in my short time in the game, there aren’t many job postings nowadays and it’s a super saturated market with 500 people gunning for one job, and there’s no prize for second place.
Yet I’ve interviewed with an assortment of household brand names. Denver, Baltimore, St. Louis, Raleigh — headquarters I’d have to move to that would change everything.
Even in dark times, I’m still getting looks. My bassoonist homie Marty keeps saying “if you keep making it to the final round, it’s just a matter of time.”
I do think I interview poorly. Truth is, you never know why you don’t get the job. Zero notes. Get beat by a better candidate, maybe they just think you’re weird, maybe they think you’re incompetent, and maybe somebody’s cousin got the gig. It’s all speculation.
But I have talent. I have value. Enough that companies want to give me an interview.
In interviews, they ask what I’ve been doing.
Truth is, I do freelance as much as I can, I jump on shoots any time my homie Evan at Instacart needs hands, I became an Ironman, and I drive truck for FedEx. I make sushi on the side too. Those days are 13 hour days.
There I was in the 14 footer, 126 stops with probably 130ish packages. They go everywhere every time you hit a turn too hard. The radio with shitty speakers happened to play a song.
“He’s not selling any alibis, when you stare into the vacuum of his eyes, and say ‘do you want to make a deal?’ How does it feel? To be on your own…”
The weight brought me back. Time teaching me once again.
I’ve only been laid off as a copywriter. I admit, I love the work. The swings of the industry aren’t that much fun.
I could work in some office. Sales, client services at some finance firm. It’s not ego that stops me.
The hardest part of having such a clear vision of how you want to live your life is when you’re not living the vision.
I’ve probably been reading too much Carl Jung but I believe him when he said the point of life is to live it.
Been unpleasant, honestly. But I say this to you, reader, because if you’ve actually read this far then you care and relate enough to hear this…
We’re all just one bad accident away from wanting our lives exactly the way they are right now. All your problems, shit that deeply disturbs you…but do you have legs? Do they work? You can see and can read this.
Grit.
Times get hard. You will feel lost, worthless, and unsure.
Keep going. You’ve got this. Life is beautiful and you are doing better than you think. It can always get better but shewwww it can always get worse. Believe that shit.
You have value. Some things aren’t in your control.
We forget that to be a rolling stone, you have to be a stone in the first place. I’m the first person to practice empathy, but don’t be a pussy.
The point of life is to live it. You can spend your life chasing bullshit, wasting time, making memories for memory sake.
“But if memories were all I sang, I’d rather drive a truck.” - Rick Nelson, Garden Party
Much love,
E
#ARTiculate