Is this the line for pho? Yes. Pho queue

Dear Blog diary,

I actually have a firm theory that racism can be cured by pho specifically. Ever notice in the movie Gran Torino with Eastwood? It’s the food that initially opens his perspective of the neighbors.

Show me the most racist KKK member, just give him a bowl of pho and he’ll probably still call the chef the G word but little by little, Hank is gunna change.

When I was little, I used to go to one of my best friend’s house and wow the food. If you know me, you’re wondering if I’m talking about Charlie or Khanh.

So Charlie’s mom was making pho one day. I was probably 13ish. I begged her if I could just watch so I could learn.

She replied, “Your white boy hands will mess it up.”

She absolutely knew that I’m half Vietnamese, and that really hurt me at the time. I hope that being mixed has become easier for kids nowadays. I never experienced racism like many asians have. It's mostly the never being anything.

You’re a child. You want to fit in fuckin somewhere, or at least you want to be whatever it is that you are. But what am I? We love labels. Gender, sexuality, race, whatever. So as a kid just trying to navigate what I am, it hurt. Another case of not being asian enough,

Now granted, years later I remember talking about how Vietnamese women are crazy, straight up to Charlie’s mom’s face. Which, say what you want, good or bad – don’t ever fuck with a Vietnamese woman. Fuckin pistols. Usually hilarious. They can conquer kingdoms, topple mountains, and make you fall head over heels in love with them. Little crazy lol.

But I was wrong for that. And I was wrong for being hurt by what she said to me.

The truth is that I was a child and, understandably, emotionally immature. The truth is that Charlie’s mom welcomed me into her home for the majority of my life and at the table where she ate with her family, she fed me, without even asking if I was hungry.

Vietnamese parents fucking with their kids is just how they show affection anyway.

I’m eternally grateful. At least in part, that’s what pho means to me – being stupid enough to not know how much you’re loved.

Cam on,

E

#ARTiculate