2022 gone

Dear Blog diary,

They say “only iron can sharpen iron.”  In this, what the knife thinks is help and support, the butter sees as an attack.

I write out my goals every year. I failed on most of my goals this year ironically. It’s just that the ones I succeeded in were the culmination of years. Best year of my life.

I actually look at my list and I need more service to others. I acknowledge that I’ve been in a great place for a while, so I have the resources in every aspect to be of service to others. Gotta up my game.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone who’s helped me along the way whether you realize it or not. You probably have.

I have about eight diary entries that I haven’t finished. Then Christmas came along and I go hard in the paint on that shit. I always crash after Christmas, but you have to let go.

Then I get this week where everything is arbitrarily reflective, introspective, and humbling. I admit that for this year, asking for much more would be selfish and yet that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

I am still reflecting, but I do think there is something to be said about the silencing of the ego. Best believe mine gets the best of me. I have references to confirm this. I hope that I have gotten better, at the very least, at apologizing for my ego. If you can’t control it within reason, and you can’t silence it – best get comfortable apologizing for it.

This year, there was a new sense of self and I do believe shushing my ego was the key. I got smaller and as a result, I grew so significantly. I had this long rant about iron, the knife, and the butter. Which I do believe not every little thing is a micro-aggression. Mental health is not a bubble, and anything that challenges that bubble is not always an attack. For the record, if I offended you this year and I didn’t apologize for it – then I meant that shit. Hope we can be cool anyway.

No. After some thought, I realize I am both the knife and the butter, but more and more I am becoming a knife. And yes, that’s a direct result of my relationship with my ego. I say this shit but you best believe this battle never ends.

The next step is to understand that I don’t know shit. But the truth is…

I am Ironman.

Best regards,

E

#ARTiculate