No-no-no-NOTORIOUS

Dear Blog Diary,

When I was 10 years old or so, for Halloween I went as Notorious BIG from the Life After Death CD cover. I wore my dad’s trench coat and my mom bought me a foam derby hat. Somewhere there is a picture of it that I hope never gets out. Black face isn’t ok everyone.

For fuck’s sake, I’m kidding.

But nobody knew who I dressed up as. Little mixed asian kid wants to be Notorious BIG.

I will say that’s how I was a kid and I’m the same way now. Whatever I’m into and however I want to be, I just want to do that and stay in my lane. I've always wanted to just be me and that be ok.

No idea who said it first, but “what other people think of me is none of my business.” It’s true and more to the point, we don’t get a say in what people think of us. Some people are just going to think you’re an asshole. And in my experience you never actually know why! As introspective as I can be, my eyes only see one way. I can absolutely be oblivious to my impact on the world around me, even when I very consciously try to be the very best I can be. Especially then, somebody isn’t going to like you.

My response to that – there’s nothing you can do to make me not like you.

Last weekend at the Red, I fell in love with a two year old named Lily. She’s also half asian half white. Ridiculously cute, curious, and a real talker. Blew my mind!

We were exploring this cave-like structure, very dark. She asked if there were monsters in there. I told her maybe. She replied.

“Monsters aren’t real. We just imagine them.”

She was standing close to the edge of this rock. I was in helicopter mode over this baby. I told her that I will save her. She replied.

“I can save myself.”

And then she did fall on her butt. She was totally fine and I checked on her. She replied.

“Whenever you fall down, you can always just pick yourself up.”

I replied, to a two year old.

“I don’t think you understand how profound that really is.”

Yes party people, Halloween is the season for dressing up and being whatever you want to be. I urge you to be yourself year-round and as cliché as it may be, keep the child in you alive. And always be...

No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-NOTORIOUS.

E

#ARTiculate