Alright alright alright
Dear Blog Diary,
Funny the perceptions other people have.
I was sitting at the Addy’s last Friday, advertising awards. I sat next to one of my superiors. He told me his impression of me.
“McConaughey.”
He told me how I am constantly mellow, a stoner, and have this vibe about me that is just cool.
Me?? Ok I am stoner but me?? Let's TMI for the internet. I deeply love myself. I like who I am. I’m dope for reasons. I also assume and deeply KNOW that 99% of the people I speak to think I’m a low-life piece of shit. That’s how I live everyday. All good. Reality is, people don’t think about you at all.
Note: I hope it says something about me that I truly aim to practice empathy, kindness, passion, and compassion…with people who I think hate me aka everyone.
But, to be thought of in that way is encouraging, and it was a beautiful being at the awards. Seeing people I haven’t seen in 5ish years when I was just trying to switch careers in my early 30s, catch a break, crawling on my belly.
I do believe in being passionate about your career. Work is not just something you do for money. Not going into it but I will say is that I’m pretty fucking proud of myself. I say it bluntly.
None of it was sexy. My first internship I was 32, everyone else, 22. I’ve reported to people 8 years younger. Money comes and goes. Men, be successful or you don't have value. It’s emasculating not being what you envision but its worse to look back with regret. Like Thoreau said, "quiet lives of desperation." Afraid to pay, and you always pay, whether it’s sacrifice or regret.
I’m proud that I took the hard road. I do what I love. I understand that I’m living what I once dreamed of. I’m fighting that urge that wants more “and then you’ll be happy.”
I started this shit from scratch. It's not sexy and it will cripple you if you let it. You start to believe things about yourself.
What got me through was Kuma, those who loved/believed in me, and holding the perception of myself that I'm worth something even if I constantly feel I'm the only one who thinks so. Perceptions are fun that way.
And to that I say – alright alright alright.
Best,
E
#ARTiculate