Cheers to another lap around the sun

Dear Blog Diary,
Your birthday is as arbitrary a day to reflect as any. Need to get back in shape but I still objectively believe I’m the best I’ve ever been, yet I’ve failed a whole lot this year.

Slight tweak on my shpeel on Van Gogh.

That movie At Eternity’s Gate with Willem Dafoe about Van Gogh…loved it. Perfect casting but way too old for the role. Dafoe was 63 when he played Van Gogh, and Vincent died when he was 37, the age I just turned.

Van Gogh died by suicide, broke, unaccomplished, with only his brother by his side in an asylum. He chased women that didn’t love him and sold one painting in his life. He would at times try to give away paintings as a form of payment, famously one was used to cover up a hole in a chicken coop and one portrait was considered so ugly that it was used for archery target practice.

Failure is so much a part of the process of success, but Van Gogh is special in that he only knew failure. Now, he lives on as one of the most celebrated artists of all time. Even if you are flat out fuckin up for your entire life, doesn’t make you a failure. We all agree, don’t be afraid to fail, failing is ok, it’s part of it, etc. Yet we tend to be so afraid to be a complete utter failure. That’s not ok and it’s embarrassing.

As always, it’s ego.

I look at the things I’ve accomplished this past year and my failures shrink away. That doesn’t mean I like my failures. Still…

How Forrest Gump runs the football. Everyone thinks he is an idiot that doesn’t stop at the end zone. No.

I don’t use that metaphor to say, “he doesn’t realize that he already won.” I use it to illustrate that there will be people that think you’ve already won and it’s ok to stop now. They told him to run, not to score, and he did with laser focus, on his own terms.

Van Gogh kept painting while being a failure in every aspect. Forrest kept running after he scored the touchdown. Some people find success even after they’ve died and some don’t even know how successful they really are.

My plan for year 37: Keep going despite how many people tell me I'm good and how many failures tell me I'm not.

E
#ARTiculate