Proper dopamine

Dear Blog Diary,

I’m back on proper dopamine.

Society tells us to live on cheap dopamine. Junk food tastes good, overconsumption, and cigarettes are amazing.

The issue is when we demonize things as bad as if eating clean is a morally good decision and thus Taco Bell should come with guilt. It’s just food.

Time out: Give yourself some grace.

This cat and mouse game we play with ourselves. The “good” one shaming, pushing for better decisions and the “bad” one just wants instant gratification.

My favorite cat and mouse would be the anime, Death Note. Light Yagami the psychopath and the aloof detective L trying to catch him. I wonder between the two, who would win the Squid Game.

Honorable mentions: Memento, Se7en, No Country for Old Men, Catch Me If You Can, Terminator.

One that holds a place in my heart…Heat. The diner scene.

Bobby DeNiro the crook and Al Pacino the cop. A direct influence on Chris Nolan’s Dark Knight.

Pacino knows it’s Bob but can’t arrest him yet. Instead, they have a coffee. They explore their duality. Al only knows a life chasing criminals, wouldn’t want it any other way. Bob can only be a crook, wouldn’t want it any other way. It’s who they are, and they bond over how this life they chose burdens them from living normal lives. They share their dreams. There's mutual respect and almost an affection.

Same scene, they lay their intentions clearly that they both will shoot to kill without hesitation.

My father and I haven’t spoken the same language in years. Love him. He loves me. We often don’t understand each other. We were talking about his work, how cutthroat it can be. I told him…

“It’s like that movie Heat, ‘If I gotta put you away, I won’t like it. But if it’s between you and some poor bastard whose wife you’re gonna turn into a widow, brotha, you are going down.’”

He laughed. He knew exactly the scene and the line. And my father isn’t one for depth in movies. It was a beautiful moment where we spoke the same language.

That’s not cheap dopamine. That you only get through commitment/disciple to keep trying. Whether it’s a marathon, a master's degree, or just having a great relationship…

Keep trying.

E

#ARTiculate