Why I'm single

Dear Blog Diary,

Believe it or not, I’ve been listening to Matthew Hussey for over 10 years. Ironically, he's a Youtuber who counsels women to have happy healthy romantic relationships. Don’t recall how I got onto him but he shows how to have the right heart and mind for something to grow romantically. It's all human to me.

Nice lady at work Tina politely asked me once, “How is a guy like you single?” It was sweet.

I saw a clip from Matthew recently that really resonated with me. There are four things that have to occur for something to get off the ground in dating and sustain:

Admiration: In whatever fashion. She likes how successful he is, hardworking, smart, funny. He likes how talented she is, also smart, quick wit, creative. Whatever.

Mutual attraction: Both gotta wanna get naked together. Let the shallowness begin. It’s all fair game.

Willingness to say yes: Whether it’s committing to a date, being vulnerable to letting the other person actually get to know who you really are, putting in effort, consistency.

Compatibility: The stuff that matters, mostly your values. Things you shouldn’t bend on. A few for me, no radicals politically left or right, no religious, and if you aren’t kind empathetic and compassionate…fuck that.

Men and women are shit to each other. Both go down their checklist and eventually he/she will miss one. If a guy is kind, humble, but kinda messy? NEXT.

The list shouldn’t be evenly weighted. If he’s messy, that’s a 10% knock to the list. If he isn’t kind, that’s a 100% knock to the list!

I’ve been shot down because I have long hair, because I’m an atheist, not manly enough, not feminist enough or the right way, the iconic #1, not tall enough to even be considered. Of course, I've broken hearts too.

I had never thought of this 4 must-have’s system before and it gave me such great perspective. It helped me see where things went wrong, even if it was on my end. I hope it helps you in your relationship or dating life.

One thing Matthew preaches is that the goal should be to be content and happy, not to be in a relationship.

Check and check.

Best,

E

#ARTiculate