Bury the hatchet

Dear Blog Diary,
You can bury the hatchet, but you never forget where you buried it.

Bill Maher visited the White House recently-ish. Youtube his monologue about his experience. He asked Trump, “You’re scaring people. Do you really want to be scaring your own citizens so much?”

 And it is what it is, Bill doesn’t remember his response, but it wasn’t “ok I’ll stop.”

I’m starting to fully realize the term young people overuse, "trauma." Little ones, huge ones. Shit that I distinctly remember how I felt and yet if you asked me what that person did or said, I can’t even remember. A boogie man where the idea of the incident is more profound than the incident, and it pops up in your life now.

I grew up with futbolers. Me, no way. They were practicing once and just to do cardio, be useful, support my friends – I was retrieving the balls that they ripped past the goal. What did one of them say that made me feel like a bitch boy playing fetch like a dog? I don’t remember.

I’d still fight Charlie Carpenter today on principle. He bullied me in high school and it’s ironic when I look back. He was an ugly dude, follower, simpleton even for a teenager. I certainly remember a few incidents but the vast daily majority, I don’t remember.

All the times I was essentially told I’m not asian. Fuck yeah I carry that today. People diminish it as a “me problem." It's baffling to me how people claim racism left and right but that one is always ok. Polarized world where the demographic supersedes the individual, where labels seem to matter so much – so many times but, I don’t remember.

We've all been on both sides. In some stories you’re the villain and others you’re the hero.

You already know, someone has to say “ok I’ll stop” and that person is you. Chances are that person doesn’t remember either, probably didn’t mean it, and you’re the one holding on.

Doesn't negate lived experience, doesn't mean you should parade around as a victim either, and definitely don't take it out on the next person who had nothing to do with it.

It's not easy. Sticks with you. With empathy I say, handle your shit.

Bury the hatchet, in an unmarked grave, preferably.

Best,
E
#ARTiculate