Deep water

Dear Blog Diary,

Watched the Ben Affleck Ana D’armas flick Deep Water. Spoilers. Gave me mega anxiety, but go watch it!

To summarize, party girl wife can’t stop cheating and boring husband can’t stop killing the male suitors.

I cringed watching this film. They both don’t accept each other for who they are. Difference is Ben tries to control her and Ana’s reaction is to cheat.

It just depends on when you came into the story! Ben is our protagonist and we start as Ana is a cheating mess. Shame on her right?

Change the starting point. Let’s say ten years prior. Ana D’Armas is our protagonist. She has a zest for life and Ben simply wants to live the stereotype suburb life. She really tries. Ben is controlling, only supports her in ways that will make her more how he wants her to be, belittles her when she doesn’t fit his idea. Shame on him right?

My point being that people cheat for a reason.

Reality is, Ana is fun and Ben is stable. You need both, but you don’t lay your foundation around fun.

So why is there a focus on the woman being this wretched hoe and the husband is a victim? Make no mistake, that dumb fuck man is the problem. Either he didn’t treat his wife right, or he picked a shallow, one dimensional, low quality person. Regardless, it’s on him! She isn’t wrong for being what attracted him in the first place.

Usually it’s because she is hot. Hot girls have a way of being smart funny interesting etc…when they are hot. Ladies, you’re just as shallow with men.

One of my favorite Bob Dylan songs is “Don’t think twice it’s alright.” Then there’s the cover by Johnny Cash, “Understand your man.” He changed the lyrics a lot and still considers it a cover.

Where Bob is gracefully accepting what is, what was, I’m leaving, and it’s ok…Johnny is saying “This shit is on you, I’m fucking out, and it’s ok.”

Ultimately, look for kindness, compassion, introspection, and empathy. Dont ignore their absences even if it’s Ana D’armas. Have those qualities in yourself!! And if she doesn’t understand her man, don’t think twice it’s alright.

Best,
E