You must choose

Dear Blog diary,

Live by the sword, die by the sword.  Quality of life will mimic how you choose to live your life. If you choose to be a dirtbag, more than likely you’re going to be surrounded by dirtbags as dirtbag things happen to you.

It’s difficult to face assault charges for a drunken bar fight when you’re home with loved ones playing board games. If you think that I’m judging, I’m not. Bars aren’t bad. Booze aint bad. I’m not even saying fighting is bad. Inversely, I’m not saying the latter are good. Just me, I don’t want to face charges for fighting drunk at a bar.

I am absolutely saying don’t be surprised when results mimic your decisions.

Your assumption is that I’m a victim blamer. You did XYZ, put yourself in that position, you had it coming right?

No I think life has an abundance of shit you can’t control but I do believe in aggressively controlling the things that you can. Be an introspective high quality person. Bare minimum, fucking try. Genuinely try because your behaviors will flow into other aspects of your life. Flaws and strengths are cross-habitually contagious. Rarely are they independent. “Tom is super trustworthy…but cheats on his girlfriend every weekend.” Of course he will 100% do you dirty.

My grandma’s name was Juanita Mae Kirschner. Died a few years back. Born in rural Kentucky. Never even saw a black person until she was an adult but even into her last years when she wasn’t all there mentally, she would ask how is my best friend Ofori (Ashanti tribe, Ghana).

I take pride in that. To a degree, when you have a white person in their 90s, I half expect there will be undertones of racism given the ignorance and bullshit of their time. Not her.

Born and died poor. Had two husbands in life, a cheater and a drunk. Uncle put her through hell. Other things.

“Grandma was a genuinely good person, but life was not kind to her.”

My brother said. I replied:

“Grandma was a genuinely good person despite the fact that life was not kind to her.”

Life can be cruel and we die by the sword anyway. Well, the kindest person I know, my mom, held my grandma’s hand and watched her take her last breath.

I hope it's genetic.

Kind regards,

E