Self knowledge isn't supposed to be easy
Dear Blog diary,
Telling you, you learn a lot about yourself at mile 30.
I’m talking about triathlon. When you’re actually on the course, you have a lot of time to think. You’re paying attention to everything as you go into your bubble. And then at least for me at some point, I get weird.
For the half Ironman in Chattanooga, for whatever reason I kept talking to myself as if I was Vegeta from DBZ and all of the other athletes were Goku. So here I am chasing down whoever is in front of me on the bike. Some super aero tri bike passes me and I mean straight drops me, and I yell “His power level is over 8000! How is this possible! Kakarot!”
In Indy for an olympic distance, during the run for whatever reason I kept saying over and over the quote from Jason Bourne “At this altitude, I know I can run flat out for a half mile before my hands start shaking.”
Yesterday I did an olympic distance in West Chester right outside of Cincinnati. I just kept reciting the iconic monologue from my childhood hero, Bruce Lee.
“You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash. Become like water my friend.”
The part that always stuck with me was “Water also is insubstantial. You cannot grab or, you cannot punch it and hurt it.”
I notice people stop things in life. You ever notice kids usually stop doing art when they realize they suck at it? Little five year old loves showing you their drawing of a horse and it’s a rectangle with four lines for legs. Then after they see how it looks nothing like a horse, they stop. Then for most of us, we do art until high school or college. Some of us paint, as we should. Sculpt, woodwork, sew, love all of it. So many adults drop creating after they aren’t forced to.
Same goes for physical exertion. I’m not talking about maintenance working out because you don’t want to let yourself go because that would ruin your image. I’m talking when’s the last time you thought you might die because your max heart rate is 182 and you’re at 180. PR on squat, gassed out at jiu jitsu, futbol pitch, I don’t care what you do. I support it.
Yesterday I fucked up my hydration. That’s on me and I know better. Mile 2 on the run, 90 degree sun, both quads cramping but I’m still moving. Then my left hamstring locked out, total cramp. Can’t move. I’m a mile-ish away from the next water station. What do you?
Well I managed to do a young Forrest Gump run mostly propelling off my right leg while repeating to myself “don’t be a pussy.”
All the cliché get out of your comfort zone bullshit. But seriously. Whether it’s creating, exerting, experiencing something new that pushes your perspective…
The concept intrigues me. Can’t quit, in pain, getting out of it will be difficult. You see how you handle it. Do you panic? Are you motivated to push through or think woe is me? As you’re reading this, are you thinking “you must be crazy. I’m not doing that.”
To that I say congrats. You just found out a lot about yourself at mile 0.
E
#ARTiculate